"Please let go of my hands" by Zoe Donovan(she/her)

The following poem is a sequel to the poem "David of Giovanni's Room" from our original zine that was inspired by the novel Giovanni's Room by James Baldwin.

It’s dark

at night

in Paris

again.

Sticky, summer air hangs heavy above my head

and David of Giovanni’s Room knocks on my door

wrists tight

just like last time.

I let him inside

he slips his cool hands into mine,

pulls me closer,

and makes a home for himself in the corner of my mind

Once again, his eyes are all I see in the mirror.

Dear David,

This bed is not yours.

Please share the covers with me,

I am cold and hungry for room.

Stop wearing my clothes.

I am suffocating on your scent,

and you won’t let me open the windows.

I wish you would leave

but if you must stay

answer me this:

Why do we have nightmares about honesty?

she is the one holding our aching stomachs

pushing back our messy hair

and splashing water on our flushed cheeks

trying to set us free.

Why must we turn our backs on presence?

she grounds us

she teaches us to love the rain

and her strong arms hold us down before we float aimlessly

we don’t know how to fly.

Why did we forget respect?

she accepted nothing but the best

for you and I

she held our heads high

stop looking down at your feet, David,

and meet my eyes.

…

I am opening my windows

and making my bed

I am washing my face

and taking deep breaths.

I do not have a book, or an audience, or a Baldwin

but I will still pick up a pen

and tell you to leave.

Please let go of my hands.